Talk:Demon/@comment-58.8.153.53-20151229135538/@comment-26120285-20160115080824
Me: Hey look a flying chicken Demon: I will not fall for that so easily. Then a green chicken fly to my face and starts to attack me and drag me to the other side and beat me up so badly Demon: What da hell was that? Why you're green you diabolic chicken? Chicken: Is none of your business and why are you blue you slutty horn creature? The chicken get some sunglasses and put it on, then it drags me off the bar by bitting my ear. Friend: Hey get back here!! My friends try to rescue me but is stopped by the shoulder from behind, when he turns around it was winnie pooh. Friends: This day starts to get so strange, SO NOW WHAT YOU WANNA FIGHT TOO UH?! Winnie pooh then kicks in the balls to my friend and slams him to a table, winnie pooh take off his head only to show a clown with the word dick hit the fan on his forehead. Winnie pooh: Such a bad boya, this is not a game, THIS IS SPARTAA!! And kicks him hard outside of the bar, the demon tries to stop the chicken but then she can't get out and none of the other people could get out, then a magician appears. Magician: Time for some magic!! He raises his hand and all the males raises theirs hands and guide them to their wifes. Magician: I can control your husband, but if i suffer a pain or lose a member they will suffer it too. He then do a little cut and all the males have a cut on the same area. Magician: Now for my next trick, im gonna use my dick! All the monster stood anxiously, the magician get some liquid nitrogen and put it in his dick, then he reveal his frozen dick, all the monsters see it confused. Magician: Now remeber what i say of your husbands Then the magician, take a gun a blow his dick, all the monsters in the area fainted instantly. Magician: But that doesn't apply to the dicks!! THAT'S ALL FOLKS!! Returning to me, the chicken fly off with my ear in his mouth while leaving a trace of rainbows, then he drops me on a jacuzzi with a incubus and 5 succubus, they look at me stranged. Me: Where's the nearest hospital. Incubus: Dunno bro, how you survive that fall? Me: I don't know and i don't wanna know. I walk away but i fall of a cliff and start to roll all the way down until i fell on a hole where i crush a piano and the chicken with human form takes off a glove and hit me in the face, i woke up on a chair and the chicken in his chicken form tells me Chicken: Im gonna cu-cu-kill you bud but i will take you to a serious place. Then i woke up on ball pool, the chicken raises his shotgun on my forehead and says. Chicken: GET REKT And then he pull the trigger and i woke up (real this time) on a hospital with my arms covered and my body covered too, the doctors told me that i got burned and i suffer from intoxication that cause me to convulsionate but i was a hero, i don't remeber but they tell me that i enter on a building on fire that had a fainted demon inside and i went to rescue her, but i suffer the burns and the intoxication was caused by the chemicals of the building, the demon was completely fine but i was a disasters, it took 3 weeks to heal me, one of the doctors open the doors and say something to someone outside, a demon enters, at the moment i see her my memory starts to clarify and i remeber it all, the eyes of the demon shoot wide open of happiness and lunges to me. Demon: Oh thanks the demon lord, YOU'RE ALIVE HUBBY!! She starts to kiss me multiple times on my cheek, she waited all this moment for me, i see my right and see all the gifts she had left for me. Demon: I'm really relived that you're alive and so happy that you save me, i can't belive you do that for me. Me: I can't allow a living had their life taken by that way, it wasn't your moment to die. Demon: Thank you! I feel so deeply in love with you that i propose you this. She lend me a contract where she states that i will stay with her and she will protect me forever, that i would be her master, and be extremely careful, protective and lovely all the times. I smile and with the weak strength i had left i take the pen she lend me, with my hand shaking i manage to put my name, the contract dissappeared. Doctor: Hey, you're fine and we gonna let you out hero, maybe you will need a wheelchair. Demon:*giggles* There's no need to. Me: Huh? The demon lifts me in a bridal carry and i still bandage on my arms, my chest, my legs and half of my face (the other half was fine). When she walked through the hallways to outside i was trying to cover myself for shame but instead of laughing i receive a lot of cheers and claps part of the doctors and the people outside who they said my name multiple times. When we arrive home my wife leaves me on the bed and she go out for a moment, she then returns with an unicorn. Unicorn: So this is the hero you're talking about? It would be such an honor. She throw me a healing spell, im capable of moving now, another one and my wounds are closed, another one and my body is completely back to normal. The unicorns leaves and the demon comes seductively to me and starts to lick my body to my neck and then a french kiss. Demon: I should reward you hero or husband♥ We proceed to have sex all the day, i wake up with her nuzzling on my chest. Some days later my wife takes me off to place for a surprise and im suprise to see a lot of monsters and incubus celebrating me for my heroic action for saving the queen. Me: The queen? The demon clings to my arm and she is in fact the queen. Demon: I want to show you the new king Everyone raises their cup and say loud All: Long life to the king, long life to the queen. After that celebration i was to go to my home but the demon stops me and tells me that they gonna bring my things with me, she draggs me off to her bedroom and we have sex. When i was sleeping i had a dream but i wasn't a dream it was a memory, i see my friend in there. I woke up in middle of the night and i walk out the castle and the demon realm with my wife still in it, i walk far away until i reach a cementery, i enter and explore until i find it, the tomb of my friend together with her wife, i leave some flowers to both of them and i start to cry as i remeber the good memories we had together, when we form a band and we become succesful and all the things we had done together, her wife and him die by fire the same way as the demon was above too, i keep crying until i hear a soft voice and lightly tap on my shoulder. Demon:*sniff* Darling are you okay? Why are you crying? You gonna make me cry too? I pull her close and hug her then tell her that at least i didn't fail this time Demon: What do you mean? Me: You see those tombs? Demon: Yes? Me: There was my best friend and her wife, they die the same ways as you was above to, i tried to save them but i failed, i visit them all the time, when i see you in the building in fire i wouldn't allow myself that happen again, so i save you. Demon: *sniff* Oh hubby! She kiss me and hugs, some of her subordinates was with her but they couldn't contain their tears, hold from each others hand we go back to our castle on the carriage. I sit down on the bed and my wife conforts me, i take off my necklace of a sword with two roses tangled on it. Me: As a sign of our marriage, it have my spirit energy and it was made by father who told me that i will only give this to the one i truly love, it is you, plus this beautiful diamond armband that use to belong to my friend. Demon: Oh my♥ She hugs me tightly and we sleep together embraced each other. Me: Our love will be the only thing will burn us. And that's how i spend the rest of my life with my demon waifu raising some demon childrens. Life is good.